Trigger Warning: The contents of this article address topics of depression, suicide, and other mental health concerns. 

In a world where conversations about mental health are becoming more common, one topic in particular continues to be overlooked: men’s mental health. With this in mind, we decided to experiment by spending a night with a group of friends and see how it affected our mental health. 

With this issue in mind, we collectively sought to break this trend by allocating time in our schedules to spend time with close friends and open up about issues and situations we’ve experienced. 

“I think sometimes society says it’s difficult for men to share because they have to be tough guys, we gotta have this masculine persona,” Director of Guidance Todd Ryan said. “If that’s true, it doesn’t mean you can’t share your feelings, and if it’s not true, it means that we should be able to share our feelings and talk about the things under this, under the pretense. I think this is one of the things that is hard across the board because you have to be really vulnerable.”

We approached this boy’s night-out similar to how a scientist would approach a new experiment. Before the night, we asked ourselves a question: would sitting down with our friends and taking time to better understand ourselves as individuals improve our cumulative mental health? 

In the constantly evolving landscape of the 21st century, innovations (such as social media) have brought about consequential change among all age demographics. One specific example of this would be the impact on mental health. Teen anxiety and depression are affecting nearly 32% of adolescents today, compared to 8.1% in 2009. Paired with this, the overall depression rate has risen to 20% among people in the age range of 12-17. Unfortunately, this rise in depression has singled out one demographic in particular: men. Depression rates among men currently rest at 10% compared to 30% in women. 

At first, this may pose a contradiction, however, 40% of men chose not to report mental health concerns. Subsequently, this lack of reporting has led to an increased likelihood of suicide. When compared to women, men are four times more likely to commit suicide, contributing to 80% of total suicides committed each year. 

“Depression and anxiety, it may be a natural part of what’s happening, experiencing those things, and how you cope and react to that is really where the positive mental health comes in,” Ryan said. “I would certainly argue that there are a lot of things that are stressful for people, a lot of things that are unknown for kids.”

A contributing cause to this spike in mental health disorders among men is societal influence.  According to the National Library of Medicine, many men report that fears of appearing weak and going against “norms” prevent them from speaking and addressing their issues with mental health. 

Lucien

Planning hangouts between guys can be difficult because nobody wants to check their schedule and see if they are available. Especially in our case, we waited until three hours before we got together on the day off to finalize if anyone was going. We waited until the last minute to make any plans, causing the night to be more improvised. I created a group chat with Ben, Sumner, Owen and I because this would be the easiest way to communicate with everyone. I asked if everyone could go, and Owen said he would go if everyone else could. Ben said he would be able to go and asked what time, and Sumner said he would also be able to go given a time. We agreed on a time, and about 30 minutes before we were all supposed to leave for the diner, Sumner texted that he would not be able to make it, giving a couple of reasons. The other three of us went out to the diner, and to Drive Shack. 

Silver Diner: 4:57

Ben

 I was the first to arrive at the Silver Diner, after hearing the news that Sumner cancelled on the group. I sat in the main lobby just waiting for someone to show up. Lucien was the next to arrive and together we sat at a table in the back right corner. When Owen got there, we all ordered cheeseburgers. 

Owen 

As soon as I arrived, our waiter immediately pointed me in the right direction, and from that moment, the night was a good refresher. We ended up all settling on burgers that did indeed become the best burger in a long time.The burgers were cooked to order to our desired temperature, and the fries did not disappoint.  The burgers were gone in an instant and perhaps I was just starving from a workout but I am leaning towards that delicious burger.

Drive Shack: 6:15

Ben

 After our food soon disappeared, we all made our way to Drive Shack which was just five minutes up the interstate. The quick drive was leading towards a super fun outing where Owen and I struggled to get points on the board and Lucien shot the lights out. Though I was not the most successful at golfing, we hit golf balls off the ledge like there was no tomorrow. Lucien, the one who works at a golf course and golfs every weekend, blew us out of the water while we couldn’t even get the balls into the green. 

Sumner

It was a Monday night around 4:00 when I got the text from Lucien. He and the rest of the guys were planning on going to the Silver Diner for dinner, then to Drive Shack to play a quick round of golf. To be honest the notice was a little unexpected and came at a terrible time for me; about a week prior to this, my truck had started experiencing tire pressure issues. I had tried to do some quick fixes myself but no solution was ever permanent. That night, my brother had offered to help me. I could have rescheduled and instead gone out that night, but to be completely honest it made me uncomfortable taking my truck out while the tire continued losing pressure. Unfortunately, I had to let the guys know that I couldn’t make it, to which they responded with allegations of lying. Oh well.

Owen

This was the first time that a hangout was finally scheduled. I think the only thing that really pushed us to have the hangout was that we had an article assignment that was riding on the hangout. We labeled the night as an experiment to see if we acted any differently in a relaxed setting versus one surrounded by stigmas on how we might act.  I showed up late, of course, because I was heading from a track workout with my teammates that was scheduled right before we finally figured out that we would have our boys’ night. But it was refreshing to hang out with guys who I’ve worked next to for most of high school or played next to in the case of Ben.  I started off the day not wanting to drive out to meet up with some friends, but at the end of the day I was glad I did and found myself planning the next one with the guys. 

Lucien

 It was fun because I got to go out and do something with friends and I enjoy golfing.  I was frustrated beforehand because Sumner wasn’t able to join. But as the evening progressed, I kind of forgot about it because I was just having fun with my friends and focused on the moment.  The evening was a success because it proved our experiment that men’s mental health is important. 

Ben 

 I had an amazing time where I was able to open up with my close friends if needed and be able to forget my real life struggles by just hitting some golf balls. Our experiment: did going out with friends aid in mental health struggles? I believe it was a success because of the comfort and tranquility I had while with my friends. It was an escape for that little time and a great experience all in all. 

We had only been able to golf for 45 minutes, and we have non-official plans to go back again with more time, and hopefully the whole group.  This experience was helpful as it assisted us in understanding mental health better. Though men can often feel isolated, finding time to hang out with a group of friends made us feel included, supported, and overall, we had a good time, making us feel less solitary while with our friends.

If you are experiencing depression and thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide Hotline at 988.